The Crash!

I knew it was coming and tried to prepare for it as much as anyone with bipolar disorder can, but it still hits you like a ton of Mac trucks. Not only do I deal with bipolar but I also live with numerous chronic health conditions that came after battling cancer over a decade ago. For some reason, the physical health issues seem to come exactly when I crash from a manic period. I don’t know how or why that happens, but it never fails.

So basically I’ve spent the past two days in bed going through these sweating fits that I assume are hormonal in nature. There’s really no rhyme or reason to their onset so there’s no way to prepare or plan on how to work your day around them. I just have to bundle up in sweats and a hoodie to grin and bear the grossness of profuse sweating while trying not to soak anything else other than what I’m wearing. They usually last for 30 minutes but come and go throughout the day. And there’s telling what day it will happen. Or how many days it may continue.

I have important things I need to take care of tomorrow so I can’t afford to lose another day to this annoying symptom that I’ve yet to understand where it comes from. I’m in the process of looking for a new place since my lease is up at the end of the year and I already have an appointment set up for tomorrow. I don’t want to miss out on finding the perfect place for me so I pray that I don’t see the beginning of a true crashing spiral.

Usually my crashes start out with some health problem laying me up in bed for a day and then it just seems to get harder and harder to get out of bed as each day passes. The spiral begins. Then the spiral takes over. I’m trying really hard to stay aware of my shifts and cycles so I can prevent them from controlling my life like they always have. I’m praying really hard that I will get out of bed and function tomorrow instead of losing another day.

Enlighten me please