Lost words

The words used to flow so freely from my mind and through my hands onto the page. After the chemo, the medication, the illicit drugs, and the health conditions that have all affected my memory, my concentration, and the speed of thought, it has become such a struggle to write anymore. It takes forever to find the that perfect word I have on the tip of my tongue and I remember a day when 10 page papers were a breeze to me. It’s painful when your passion becomes a difficult reminder of how much your brain has changed over the past 20 years or so. I have so many thoughts spinning around up there but focusing enough to get them down on paper is a serious chore. Writing used to be a release for me, a therapy session with myself. Now I find myself getting frustrated because I can’t find the ‘right’ words to express what I’m trying to say.

What do you do when your passion has become a painful process for you?

2 Replies to “Lost words”

  1. You need to go through that pain. I have not had chemo on me or problems with medication side effects on concentration, memory… but I know a bit how it is for two close friends. Writing and letting things out is therapy at any life stage such as meditation is. No doubt you are doing the right thing with this wonderful blog of yours, but you need to be patient if your mind after your painful experience does not work as before. You are still traumatised and adjusting to a new stage of your life. Accept it and do your best without getting anxious. As long as you have someone around who loves you (family, friends, partner?) and enough money to live you are ok. And never lose confidence despite ebbs and flows. I think I wrote this also for you: https://momentsbloc.wordpress.com/2016/06/14/confidence/

  2. 2 suggestions/thoughts:

    we pass through seasons and cycles – we need to learn how to take the good with the bad, we are to persevere and pass through difficulties as they arise in this life.

    we also have ‘multiple choice’ and are not tied down to just one way of being in this life. Keep your passion but perhaps find new and novel ways to let it out and share it with the world. Words have power but there are other powerful ‘statements’ we can make without using just our words. Sometimes silence is our best teacher. 😉

Enlighten me please